Here is a key quotation from the book:
"For years many oflmy relationships had been built on self-serving motives. I had reached out only to those whose love I considered worthwhile. But I had few resources for relating with unlovable and unattractive personalities. The kind of love I had for others could not absorb rebuff and rebuke. It left me vulnerable to bitterness. I was programmed for hostility when my self-centered love was rejected or betrayed."