About this title: Nationally bestselling author and distinguished therapist Terry Real shows women how they can have the intimate marriages they have always wanted with a step-by-step plan.
Note: This is a general synopsis. Each listing is described below.
Binding: Softcover
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Date Published: 2008-01-29
ISBN-13:9780345480866ISBN:0345480864
Description: NEW. Softcover. From an inventory that is 100% brand-new, 100% direct from the publishers' distribution channel. We carry NO pre-owned, NO remaindered. We pack in CARDBOARD to ensure the pristine quality is maintained. (Bubble-wrap alone is NOT sufficient to protect from USPS equipment. ) Guaranteed brand-NEW, protected with CARDBOARD, your satisfaction is guaranteed. BKLUVID: 9780345480866. read more
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Date Published: 2008
ISBN-13:9780345480866ISBN:0345480864
Description: New. Brand New! Buy with confidence-your satisfaction is guaranteed at B-Logistics! Due to the large scale of our operation, we do not have access to the specific contents/condition of our items. Please note that Expedited shipping is not available at this time. read more
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Date Published: 2008
ISBN-13:9780345480866ISBN:0345480864
Description: Good. A good reading copy in clean condition. All pages are intact, and the cover is intact (including dust cover, if available). The spine may show signs of wear. Pages can include limited notes and highlighting, and the copy can include "From the library of" labels. All items will be shipped by the close of the next business day. read more
Edition: Reprint
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Random House Inc
Date Published: 2008
ISBN-13:9780345480866ISBN:0345480864
Description: New. Nationally bestselling author and distinguished therapist Terry Real shows women how they can have the intimate marriages they have always wanted with a step-by-step plan. read more
Binding: Hardcover
Publisher: Ballantine Books, NEW YORK
Date Published: 2007
ISBN-13:9781400064014ISBN:1400064015
Description: Good in Good jacket. Interior is clean with a few tiny corner creases. Light general wear to boards. Dustjacket has some creasing to flaps, light general wear. A nice copy. (bx 38) read more
Description: Good. 1400064015 Good condition. May have some markings & or shelfwear. All pages intact. Used items may not include extras such as infotrac, CD or other web access codes. read more
Description: New. 1400064015 Absolutely Brand New. No marks and in pristine condition. Used items may not include extras such as infotrac, CD or other web access codes. read more
"Definitely the best marriage book I have read to date. Many of the points made a deep impression on me. One of the reasons I like marriage books is that at their core they are relationship books with ideas and principles that can help us in all of our relationships not just our marriages, though our marriage is the most important core relationship.
I liked his idea of CNI or Core Negative Image. This is an intriguing concept to me. Essentially we create our own mental images of other people that are all basically false. When we first fall in love with someone we create an idealized or Romanticized image of them in our minds that makes them seem next to perfect. Then later after we are married or in a relationship with someone for an extended period of time we also do the antithesis of romanticized imagery and instead develop a Negative Image of them. Now this exact opposite of the romanticized version is an exaggerated negative version of that person. It is us lumping all the traits and things about them that we don't like and then trying to create a complete negative persona out of it. This image can then be triggered or used whenever we are upset or angry at our significant other. It assists us in feeling justified in our anger. Over time the real danger is when we start to think that CNI is the actual person and hence blind ourselves to the real them.
He also had an interesting idea about the difference between healthy love and dependency love. One comes from an individual who has a healthy sense of self and the other comes from someone who is hoping that through the relationship they can develop a healthy sense of self. The reality though is that externalizing that responsibility onto someone else is not only wrong it is an impossible task for anyone to do for you. Happiness and self-fulfillment come from within and the danger of externalizing it then means your happiness and completeness is dependent on whims outside of your control.
There was a fascinating social-critique of Modern American Capitalism being entirely based on insecurity. That we as Americans are a country driven by a sense of inadequacy. Our self-worth as individuals is centered on having better ability, property or attributes than the next man. This is easy to exploit because this external self worth can be manipulated by others who will easily prey on it by making endless promises to help you finally find peace. This spills over into our relationships as we might also be tempted to base the worth of others and ourselves on these concepts.
Once we realize that all of us as humans are essentially equal in value in that none of us has more of a right than anyone else to life. We can rid ourselves of crippling insecurities and get off our high horse of putting ourselves above others. Then we can develop a more healthy sense of being. This will help us to cherish others, to value them, to know they are just as important as we are. That more than anything, no one owes anybody anything and that we all need each other and should be grateful to each other for the blessings of having them in our lives with us.
Above almost any other skill, the author believes if you can learn to Cherish others it is the single most important force you can develop."
"The first two chapters were kind of off-putting for me, but the remainder of the book was very relevant and helpful. I plan to read it again and do the exercise with each chapter."
"Should be required reading for anyone who has ever been, currently is, or plans to be in a relationship. Love his no-nonsense attitude that still manages to be light-hearted. I'm thoroughly convinced we're all making this (relationships) much more complicated than they need to be. May be buying this book for future reference."
We guarantee every item's condition, as described on Alibris. If you are not satisfied that an item is as described, return your purchase for a refund.
rating
