About this title: This is a guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery, tracing the illness back to childhood describing emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuse. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. ...
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Description: Good. Shows some signs of wear, and may have some markings on the inside. Shipped to over one million happy customers. Your purchase benefits world literacy! read more
Description: Very Good. Former Library book. Great condition for a used book! Minimal wear. Shipped to over one million happy customers. Your purchase benefits world literacy! read more
Description: Very good. Have highlights/marks on a ~20 pages, otherwise clean and nice. Minor shelfwear. Free deliver confirmation! Satisfaction guaranteed! read more
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Harper & Row
Date Published: 1989
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Good-Used. / 0062505890. Has underlining and margin notes. Some shelf wear. Ships with confirming email. 100% money back guarantee. read more
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Harper & Row
Date Published: 1989-06-14
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Very Good. Softcover in very good condition, some pages are dog-eared, no writing, non-smoking home, binding tight, Christian business. read more
Binding: Softcover
Publisher: HarperSanFrancisco, San Francisco, California, U.S.A.
Date Published: 1989
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Good. 8vo-over 7¾"-9¾" tall. 222 pp. Wraps are lightly scuffed with edewear, small stain on sheet edges. Text is clean with no markings. read more
Binding: Softcover
Publisher: San Francisco Harper 1989, 17th Printing
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Octavo, softcover, 222 pp. Near fine. Learn the origins of codependence--the bad parenting that leads to a lack of skills necessary f or independence. Learn to reparent yourself and repair those skills. read more
Edition: First Edition
Binding: Trade Paperback
Publisher: Harper & Row
Date Published: 1989
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Fine. This Stated First Edition book is in fine condition. The binding is tight and pages are clean. It appears to have not had use. The cover has minor bumps and scuffs. There is no creasing on the spine. read more
Edition: Later Printing
Binding: Softcover
Publisher: Harper San Francisco, New York, New York, U.S.A.
Date Published: 1989
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Very Good/Wraps. 8vo-over 7¾"-9¾" tall 0062505890 By Author 222 pages. Book shows slight shelfwear. read more
Binding: Paperback
Publisher: Harper & Row
Date Published: 1989-06-14
ISBN-13:9780062505897ISBN:0062505890
Description: Like New. 1989 edition, book reflects age. Different cover art. Book has slight shelf wear from storage and use; otherwise the book is in very good condition. read more
"This book focuses on the childhood origins of codependence, how dysfunction and abuse creates codependent adults. I found some of the information to be extremely helpful and made correlations of which I had previously been unaware. It was very useful for me personally to understand that clinginess and love-addiction are not the only traits of codependence, but also tendencies to create emotional barriers, inability to acknowledge one's own needs and enmeshing others' emotions with your own, among other things.
Mellody outlines five major traits of codependence, which operate on either extreme: lack of self-esteem or arrogance (inability to esteem yourself from within), making oneself too vulnerable or erecting emotional walls (boundaries), self-destructiveness or perfectionism ("owning and expressing your own reality" or self-responsibility and self-acceptance), dependence or denial of your own needs (inability to meet your own needs and wants) and chaotic or controlling behavior (extreme modes of behavior as opposed to moderation).
Her perspectives on a few issues I disagree with, for example, her conventional approach to gender and sexual preference. While attempting to be accepting of sexual preference, her approach is obviously heterosexual. Also, I disagree with some other things in the book, such as a disregard for the issues of race (one mention of race is made) and especially class. For example, perhaps Mom has to work all the time because the family is financially struggling to put food on the table, not because she's a workaholic.
Though, the direct relation of a dysfunctional childhood to an inability to meet one's needs as a adult is laid out fairly clearly here. I would be interested find out about other books on codependence from the same perspective."
"Just finished reading this. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. There is some enlighting stuff and sometimes quite horrific. There were a few small items I could identify with, however I was left with a sense of at my problems aren't that bad at all and lots of it was irrelevant to me... I would say one or two chapters were really useful the rest was a bit OTT and focussed on her issues, being a perfectionist, controlling etc. The point about 13th step of warning against getting into a relationship with a sponsor seemed really hypocritical and lost its weight because didn't the author end up marrying her sponsor? Talk about mixing business with pleasure. It makes it difficult to believe in the rest of the recovery and the validity of her arguments. Having said that the points pertaining to how to stop the cycle and be a better parent to your children are things that were useful and practical and made me think lots of problems in the world could be solved if there was great access to better parenting classes - before one becomes a parent - although this might do JoJo out of a job!"
"A helpful but meandering read on the topic of codependency. Part of my problem with this book is a culture of 12 step literature which "sometimes" relies solely on the author's on own experience as an authority on what is deemed a disease rather than a behavioral pattern. Very little is dealt in this book on recovery."
"This is an excellent book, it helped me realize unhealthy patterns in my family that I grew up in, and how as adults my family still functions in this way. It also helps one realize why someone acts one way and why the person responds in another."
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