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Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings
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by
Henry Beard, Douglas C Kenney
This slim volume by two Harvard Lampoon editors who went on to found the National Lampoon mocks Tolkien's classic--and considerably more lengthy--epic fantasy, THE LORD OF THE RINGS. It is a seminal work in parody fantasy and humorous fantasy in general. Frito Bugger, a small, piglike creature known as a "boggie"; his servant, Spam; the charlatan ...
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French for cats : all the French your cat will ever need
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Henry Beard, John Boswell, Gary Zamchick
An illustrated phrase book containing all the French your cat will ever need, such as useful phrases for eating, sleeping, playing, dealing with enemies and going to the vet. By the author of "Latin for All Occasions".
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Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse
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by
Henry Beard
In the vein of his bestselling French for Cats, Henry Beard has assembled a brilliant anthology of treasured works by feline poets. Includes "Do Not Go Gentle to That Damned Vet" by Dylan Thomas's cat, "The Human" by Edgar Allan Poe's cat and other works. Poetry for Cats will prove as thrilling as a stiff shot of catnip. Color illustrations.
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French Cats Don't Get Fat: The Secrets of La Cuisine Feline
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Henry Beard, Susan Jones (Illustrator)
Once again Beard has taken a national phenomenon and turned it into a brilliant humor book. This illustrated guide to living well and zestfully will appeal to all cool cats.
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Latin for All Occasions
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Henry Beard
Beard provides a sinfully irreverent guide to saying in Latin the things never found prayer or grammar books.
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Miss Piggy's guide to life
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Henry Beard
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The Way Things Really Work: 8(and How They Actually Happen)
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by
Henry Beard, Ron Barrett
A hilarious send-up of the bestselling The Way Things Work--full of side-splitting visual "explanations" for common phenomena. Reveals through diabolically comic illustrations the unseen dynamics and inner workings of puzzling commonplace occurences. 2-color illustrations throughout.
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Bored of the rings
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Henry Beard
Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for nearly 30 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole this is a killingly effective parody of Lord of the Rings. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum), to the ...
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Latin for Even More Occasions
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by
Henry Beard
Designed to guide the reader through the use of Latin, this humorous book includes everyday English expressions rendered into grammatically accurate, idiomatically correct, classical Latin, with an easy-to-use pronunciation guide included. This is the sequel to "Latin for all Occasions".
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The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook: Updated! New Entries!
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by
Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf, Robert Bull Design (Designer)
Newly expanded and up-to-the-minute, a bestselling guide to survival in multicultural America in the sensitive 1990s. Includes even more real and satirical definitions to help keep thought cops away. Illustrated throughout.
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Advanced French for Exceptional Cats
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by
Henri De La Barbe
The author of the bestselling French for Cats (a.k.a. Henry Beard) presents discerning felines with a sequel supreme. Funnier, cleverer, with even more marvelous color illustrations than its predecessor, Advanced French for Exceptional Cats is a natural for the cat lover and anyone who loves to laugh. Watercolor illustrations throughout.
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Zen for cats
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by
Henry Beard
This comical book profiles the "Sofa Samurai," "Kitty Sushi," haiku for cats, and traditional Chinese veterinary medicine." It also teaches cats how to sit in the lotus position and prepare organic brown mice.
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The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf
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by
Henry Beard
Gathered here in one volume are the 46 exceptions to the official rules of golf, guaranteed to improve your game, including ball swung at and missed (practice swing) - no penalty; unnecessary rough - free kick; and cruel and unnecessary hazards (hellholes) - no penalty. Also included in this book are appendixes for the course or player in ...
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Mulligan's Laws
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by
Thomas Mulligan, Henry Beard (Editor)
In 1993, Henry Beard, noted humorist and author, unearthed a copy of Thomas Mulligan's long-lost work on golfing wisdom and translated it from the original Scottish dialect. Now this classic, tongue-in-cheek treatise by the man who invented the "do-over" is available in paperback. Illustrations.
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Lingua Latina Extrema/X-Treme Latin: Unleash Your Inner Gladiator!
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by
Henry Beard
Bestselling humorist Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations. In "X-Treme Latin" he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks.
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Bad golf my way
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by
Leslie Nielsen, Henry Beard
Here, after so many golf instruction books for players who are already half-way decent at the game, is a manual for the legions of hopeless duffers and terminal hackers who know in their heart of hearts that no matter how much they try, they'll never improve.
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Golfing
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by
Henry Beard, Roy McKie
This duffer's dictionary is the perfect gift for every insatiable hacker. 559,000 copies in print. Beard & McKie lexicons have over 2.3 million copies in print.
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Fishing: A Dictionary for Constant Anglers, Weekend Waders, and Artful Bobbers
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by
Henry Beard, Roy McKie
From the 2.4-million-copy bestselling series that defines pastimes from sailing to gardening to computers, "Fishing" is a comprehensive compilation of angling words and phrases-from hook (an irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate one's thumb at the bottom of the tackle box) to line (length of filament stretched between two ...
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Skiing
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by
Henry Beard, Roy McKie
From the 2.4-million-copy bestselling series that defines pastimes from sailing to gardening to computers, "Skiing" is a comprehensive compilation of a skiing words an phrases, from the essential snow (form of precipitation that occurs the morning of the departure from a ski resort) to the essential equipment, such as boot (sophisticated footgear ...
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The official politically correct dictionary and handbook
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by
Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
An essential handbook for the nineties, providing a fool proof guard against those politically incorrect faux pas which can ruin social and professional life.
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The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf: The Hacker's Bible
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by
Henry Beard
Here at last is a rule book that explains in flawless legalese exactly why you're allowed all those do-overs, don't counts, and minor lie improvements you've always felt entitled to. Consistent four-putter and widely known wit Henry Beard presents Hacker's Rules--the ones for duffers--each illustrated with a hilariously helpful line drawing.
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Leslie Nielson's Stupid Little Golf Book
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by
Leslie Nielsen, Leslie Nielson, Henry Beard
In this hilarious parody guaranteed to help everyone play the worst golf ever--and really enjoy it--popular comedic actor Leslie Nielsen and National Lampoon founder Henry Beard deliver the really bad golf version of Harvey Penick's Little Red Book.
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Cooking
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by
Henry Beard, Roy McKie
A humorous dictionary for cooks everywhere, defining and illustrating all the terms most likely to be used in the kitchen.
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Mulligan's Laws
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by
Henry Beard (Editor)
Golfing wisdom from the genius who invented the do-over.
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Bill Gates' Personal, Super-Secret, Private Laptop: A Microspoof
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by
Henry Beard, John Boswell, Ron Barrett (Illustrator)
A satirical, humorous glimpse inside the personal computer of Microsoft chairman Bill Gates.
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