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BOOKS by Henry Beard

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Latin for All Occasions

Latin for All Occasions more books like this

by Henry Beard

Beard provides a sinfully irreverent guide to saying in Latin the things never found prayer or grammar books.

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Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings more books like this

by Henry Beard, Douglas C Kenney

This slim volume by two Harvard Lampoon editors who went on to found the National Lampoon mocks Tolkien's classic--and considerably more lengthy--epic fantasy, THE LORD OF THE RINGS. It is a seminal work in parody fantasy and humorous fantasy in general. Frito Bugger, a small, piglike creature known as a "boggie"; his servant, Spam; the charlatan ...

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The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf: The Hacker's Bible

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf: The Hacker's Bible more books like this

by Henry Beard

Here at last is a rule book that explains in flawless legalese exactly why you're allowed all those do-overs, don't counts, and minor lie improvements you've always felt entitled to. Consistent four-putter and widely known wit Henry Beard presents Hacker's Rules--the ones for duffers--each illustrated with a hilariously helpful line drawing.

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Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse

Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse more books like this

by Henry Beard

In the vein of his bestselling French for Cats, Henry Beard has assembled a brilliant anthology of treasured works by feline poets. Includes "Do Not Go Gentle to That Damned Vet" by Dylan Thomas's cat, "The Human" by Edgar Allan Poe's cat and other works. Poetry for Cats will prove as thrilling as a stiff shot of catnip. Color illustrations.

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The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook: Updated! New Entries!

The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook: Updated! New Entries! more books like this

by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf, Robert Bull Design (Designer)

Newly expanded and up-to-the-minute, a bestselling guide to survival in multicultural America in the sensitive 1990s. Includes even more real and satirical definitions to help keep thought cops away. Illustrated throughout.

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French Cats Don't Get Fat: The Secrets of La Cuisine Feline

French Cats Don't Get Fat: The Secrets of La Cuisine Feline more books like this

by Henry Beard, Susan Jones (Illustrator)

Once again Beard has taken a national phenomenon and turned it into a brilliant humor book. This illustrated guide to living well and zestfully will appeal to all cool cats.

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Latin for Even More Occasions

Latin for Even More Occasions more books like this

by Henry Beard

The surprise humor bestseller of last year has sired a sequel--and it's even more hilarious than Latin for All Occasions. The perfect gift for the person who knows no language is too dead for the pretentious. Line drawings throughout.

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The official politically correct dictionary and handbook more books like this

by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf

Language reflects culture, and when a culture begins to go a little bit crazy, the same might be said for its language. This dictionary and handbook is a wickedly funny sendup of the latest and possibly most dangerous trend: political correctness. Illustrated.

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French for cats : all the French your cat will ever need

French for cats : all the French your cat will ever need more books like this

by Henry Beard, John Boswell, Gary Zamchick

The bestselling author of Latin for All Occasions presents all the French your cat will ever need, including phrases for "Excuse me, may I rip the couch to shreds?" "kitty litter", "cat toy", "mouse", "fur ball", and "catnip". Adorable, absurd, and irresistible reading for the sophisticated cat. Illustrated.

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The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf more books like this

by Henry Beard

Tired of being beaten by an honest game of golf, self-proclaimed hacker Henry Beard figured that he didn't need a new swing--his game just needed a new set of rules. With this classic golf humor book, Beard has created a bible for the sensible golfer who doesn't have time to lose.

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Fishing: An Angler's Dictionary

Fishing: An Angler's Dictionary more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie (Illustrator)

A lexicon with over 200 dead-on definitions for anglers and 50 witty line illustrations, this revised edition is perfectly sized for one of those mysterious ballooning pockets on a fishing vest.

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Zen for cats more books like this

by Henry Beard

This comical book profiles the "Sofa Samurai," "Kitty Sushi," haiku for cats, and traditional Chinese veterinary medicine." It also teaches cats how to sit in the lotus position and prepare organic brown mice.

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Sailing more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie

A humorous dictionary of sailing terms.

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The Way Things Really Work: 8(and How They Actually Happen) more books like this

by Henry Beard, Ron Barrett

A hilarious send-up of the bestselling The Way Things Work--full of side-splitting visual "explanations" for common phenomena. Reveals through diabolically comic illustrations the unseen dynamics and inner workings of puzzling commonplace occurences. 2-color illustrations throughout.

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Bored of the rings more books like this

by Henry Beard

This slim volume by two Harvard Lampoon editors who went on to found the National Lampoon mocks Tolkien's classic--and considerably more lengthy--epic fantasy, THE LORD OF THE RINGS. It is a seminal work in parody fantasy and humorous fantasy in general. Frito Bugger, a small, piglike creature known as a "boggie"; his servant, Spam; the charlatan ...

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A Cat's Night Before Christmas more books like this

by Henry Beard, Susann Jones (Illustrator), John Boswell (Creator)

These hilarious retellings of Clement C. Moore's classic poem are told from the points of view of a family cat and dog. Full color.

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Miss Piggy's guide to life more books like this

by Henry Beard

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Advanced French for Exceptional Cats more books like this

by Henri De La Barbe

The author of the bestselling French for Cats (a.k.a. Henry Beard) presents discerning felines with a sequel supreme. Funnier, cleverer, with even more marvelous color illustrations than its predecessor, Advanced French for Exceptional Cats is a natural for the cat lover and anyone who loves to laugh. Watercolor illustrations throughout.

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Sailing: A Lubber's Dictionary more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie

Printed in an irresistible new gift format, this pocket dictionary brings new meaning to the things said at sea. The cleverly essential volume defines and illustrates the terms of sailing, from "ahoy" to "zephyr". Drawings throughout.

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Gardening more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie

The satirists dig deep into gardening lore to come up with their own definitions.

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Golfing more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie

A humorous dictionary of golfing terms.

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Fishing: A Dictionary for Constant Anglers, Weekend Waders, and Artful Bobbers more books like this

by Henry Beard, Roy McKie

A humorous dictionary of fishing terms.

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O.J.'s Legal Pad:: What Is Really Going on in O.J. Simpson's Mind? more books like this

by Henry Beard, John Boswell, Ron Barrett

A humorous look at what O.J. Simpson may or may not be scribbling on his pad during his trial.

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Lingua Latina Extrema/X-Treme Latin: Unleash Your Inner Gladiator! more books like this

by Henry Beard

Bestselling humorist Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations. In "X-Treme Latin" he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks.

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The Official Rules of Bad Golf more books like this

by Henry Beard

Everyone who plays golf dreams of long drives, below-par scores, and holes-in-one. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds. But there is an easy way for golfers to knock a dozen strokes off their handicap. No, it doesn't require new clubs-- just new rules, designed for the game mortals actually play: Bad Golf. Here at last, in one compact, ...

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