From the author of four "New York Times" Notable Books comes the shocking story of an unusual path to sexual and spiritual discovery inspired by a ...Show synopsisFrom the author of four "New York Times" Notable Books comes the shocking story of an unusual path to sexual and spiritual discovery inspired by a powerful experience with what is perhaps the last remaining sexual taboo.Hide synopsis
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Toni Bentley is to be congratulated for writing a book that shows that anal intercourse need not be degrading--it can be an alternative avenue of affection that, because it can be tricky, is actually a privilege for both involved. She also shows that it can be the basis for a long-term relationship. A taboo--yes. But then, so is a woman who has sex with a younger man. There are some underground memoirs of women who have done both. Women are frightened not of potential pain--that can be minimized. They are frightened that a man who wants them "that way" isn't expressing affection, only lust that will vanish soon. Not necessarily true at all. There's a hint in "Surrender" that a woman mid-thirties or above might attract a young man by suggesting that they begin with anal sex--and in a number of cases, a young man would be well advised to begin with and stay with anal sex. This can lead to unique bonding and depth of passion, as Toni Bentley hints more than once.
The author is a very unique person. Her sexuality overtly influences her life beyond my impression of its role in most peoples' existence, so her memoir is a rare opportunity to get a first person narrative of a highly sexual woman exploring many aspects of her sexual development. Yes, she surrenders sometimes but she controls most of the time. She is the mistress of her own surrender and is forcefully seeking herself. I felt she learned a lot about who she was through surrender and evolved into a stronger more insightful person when she choose to end the relationship. I learned a lot from her journey.
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