"Happy childhood" notwithstanding, most of us are living out the NOT OK feelings of a defenseless CHILD wholly dependent on OK others for stroking and care. By the third year of life, says Dr. Harris, most of us have made the unconscious decision I'M NOT OK-YOU'RE OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, ...
"Happy childhood" notwithstanding, most of us are living out the NOT OK feelings of a defenseless CHILD wholly dependent on OK others for stroking and care. By the third year of life, says Dr. Harris, most of us have made the unconscious decision I'M NOT OK-YOU'RE OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational ADULT potential -- leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our CHILD and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our PARENT. In personal Transactions, NOT OK people resort to harmful withdrawal, rituals, activities, pastimes, and games for getting needed strokes while avoiding painful intimacy with people they see as OK. Dr. Thomas A. Harris's pioneering work in Transactional Analysis has had a fundamental impact on our understanding of interpersonal behavior. In showing us how to make the conscious decision I'M OK-YOU'RE OK, he has helped millions of despairing people find the freedom to change, to liberate their ADULT effectiveness, and to achieve joyful intimacy with the people in their lives.
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I attended a seminar many years ago, during which the guest speaker presented the "I'm OK, You're OK" ("Transactional Analysis") method of interacting successfully with others. To simplify my understanding of the material - each person, at varying times, may present in one of these behavioral roles: Child, Parent, or Adult. The ideal combination for two individuals' successful interaction is for both to be in the Adult mode. Accordingly, one must discern the mode in which another presents, to facilitate a desirable interchange. Just because both persons have reached "Adulthood," it does not follow that either or both are actually in the mode of Adult. An individual of adult age in the "Parent" mode, when interacting with another in the "Child" mode, can be disastrous - or maybe even worse, two in the "Child" mode! This book will tell you how to interact appropriately in your own "Adult" mode, by your giving proper assessment as to whether the individual before you is "Adult, Parent, or Child. This revelation changed my own manner of interacting with the varied modes of persons I may encounter, toward positive results. 'Sounds interesting, doesn't it?
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