Excerpt: ..."Then there's a Prejudice against Western Talent." "Well, Mr. Botts, in View of all the Evidence, I have decided to give you a Decree of Divorce from Flo of the Wheaten Tresses," said the Modern Solomon. "But look here!" exclaimed the Defendant, "I haven't applied for any Divorce." "You don't have to. I give it to you anyway. As for ...
Excerpt: ..."Then there's a Prejudice against Western Talent." "Well, Mr. Botts, in View of all the Evidence, I have decided to give you a Decree of Divorce from Flo of the Wheaten Tresses," said the Modern Solomon. "But look here!" exclaimed the Defendant, "I haven't applied for any Divorce." "You don't have to. I give it to you anyway. As for you, Mrs. Botts, I will give you a Decree also. The Alimony will be $25 per." "Thanks." "I don't think you grasp the Decision. When I say that the Alimony is $25 per, I mean that Mrs. Botts will be required to pay that Amount to Adolph every week." "Shameful!" "Don't be too hasty. I further Decree that Mr. Botts must pay the same Amount to Flora every Week." "That simply makes it a Stand-Off," remarked Mr. Botts, who was puzzled. "My idea of the Case, neatly expressed," said the Modern Solomon. "Each of you is Divorced from the Other, and if Either of you ever Marries again, He or She will be jerked before this Tribunal and sentenced to Ten Years of Hard Labor in some Penal Institution." Whereupon the Court took a Noon Recess of 3-1/2 hours. Moral: Genius must ever walk Alone. THE FABLE OF THE COPPER AND THE JOVIAL UNDERGRADS One Night three Well-Bred Young Men, who were entertained at the Best Houses wherever they went, started out to Wreck a College town. They licked two Hackmen, set fire to an Awning, pulled down many Signs, and sent a Brick through the Front Window of a Tailor Shop. All the Residents of the Town went into their Houses and locked the Doors; Terror brooded over the Community. A Copper heard the Racket, and saw Women and Children fleeing to Places of Safety, so he gripped his Club and ran Ponderously, overtaking the three Well-Bred Young Men in a dark part of the Street, where they were Engaged in tearing down a Fence. He could not see them Distinctly, and he made the Mistake of assuming that they were Drunken Ruffians from the Iron Foundry. So he spoke harshly, and told them to Leave Off breaking the...
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